Another Day in Blue Cove
by planet p
Summary: AU; another crossover... supposed to be humour... my idea of which is very bad.


**Another Day in Blue Cove** by planet p

**Disclaimer** I don't own _the Pretender_ or _Doctor Who_ or any of their characters.

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There's no fob watch this time, instead there's a minute chip inserted under the skin; practically invisible. He'd know why he'd done it _again_, if he knew who he was, but he's Mr. Broots, and certainly no one called the Doctor.

Debbie, his TARDIS's physical embodiment in human form, dares say nothing for fear of saying the wrong something; she's his daughter, to his mind; she's human, not something otherworldly and inexplicable, and he loves her. Of course, he loves his daughter; it's what parents do, isn't it?

It's a while later that she meets Jenny's son (the Doctor's almost, _real_ daughter; an anomaly generated from his genetic material, not a clone!). He's getting around with someone called Lucy (or Miss Lucy), and she finds him plain balmy. Jenny's son, by goodness!

Of course, he has a twin, and that's Debbie's adult female friend, Miss Parker. She's heard Miss Parker talk of her _evil_ twin, she's just never been formally introduced before.

Jenny, of course, is a Time Lord, and capable of regeneration. She's moved from the guise of Mrs. Catherine Parker to something else, obviously.

Miss Parker doesn't know what she is, but of course her brother does. Lucy would have told him; Lucy is his son's wife from the future, and Jimmy's mother (now, if they could just fix that Jimmy thing). She pretty much hates him, but she never says so (she has some sense of self-preservation still intact, despite the eleven times she's been sick with Ebola).

(Obviously regeneration is no good if you're missing your head.)

But she's going to fix it, she tells Debbie over coffee at a fashionable little coffee shop in the mall (Debbie has been shopping for an evening dress for the Prom with Miss Parker, who is outside taking a call from Jarod – at 4 _P.M._!).

The cell reception inside is basically non-anything.

Purple would look marvellous, Lucy adds.

Debbie smiles, but she's going to get blue, she just doesn't say so. (Blue has always been her colour, and it suits her eyes charmingly.)

Lucy finishes her coffee and leaps to her feet to start an argument with Lyle; his credit card's been cancelled (Jarod's work, probably), but Lyle only tells her to quit complaining (she has her _own_ card). They've taken her car, because Jarod's not likely to _blow_ that up, and Lucy tells him that he can walk home, and Lyle snaps back and tells her that at least he won't have to listen to her awful- What! Does anyone seriously call that music?

Debbie stands up, and makes her way over to them to advise that they lower their voices; she's noticed the mall security officer looking fairly intently in their direction and if they want to do any shopping in a real shop (and not over the internet, where you're likely to have your identity and credit card details defrauded out from under you), then they'd better quieten down, don't they think.

Lyle immediately glares at Lucy, whose fault it is, and Lucy glares at him, it isn't even her fault; it's all _his_ fault.

Debbie doesn't bother to say anything to their looks, and leaves them then. She has a dress to buy.

"Don't get the purple," Lyle calls after her, and Lucy punches him in the arm and they go back to swapping glares. (Why does she even work for him, she's a witch; Oh my God, she's using her witchy mind powers to control him! Somebody help, seriously!)

Debbie rolls her eyes and keeps walking; can't stop.

Miss Parker returns, and they look through a half dozen shops before they bump into Lyle and Lucy again, glares miraculously not present. Lucy is all excited over a new romance novel that's out in the bookstore, and Lyle is pretending he's _just_ standing _near_ her, and not with her, at all, and staring at the pet shop opposite the bookstore. He always wanted a dog as a kid, it was just his parents who weren't so keen, but now he lives in a stupid apartment building, and _pets_ aren't allowed, and they'd be no room for _a dog_, even if they were.

Dogs have to be walked, and it'd be cranky at him for being late home from work so much, and for _letting_ Lucy into his apartment, though it's mostly her _barging in_ as opposed to him _letting_ her in. What would he do, toss her out again? And have the neighbours phoning the cops and complaining of a domestic dispute? No, thank you; he doesn't think so! He's over domestic disputes, has been since he was about five.

Miss Parker stalks over to her brother and stands glaring at him for a full half a minute, before he realises she's there, and frowns, then notices Debbie, her tech's daughter (at least, that's what he thinks, right?).

He grabs Lucy's arm and drags her away. He's not about to stick around for that, as well! Lucy begins yelling at him, predictably (she hates him, after all). She can't stand forceful people, she shrieks, and what is his problem!

His problem is probably that he's unhinged, but he tells her that he wants to buy her some perfume to go with her new shoes (she's wearing new shoes, isn't she?), and that there's a sale on at the department store.

A huffy look makes its way onto her face, and he drops her arm, but she continues walking beside him stiffly, thinking of perfume.

Debbie glances at Miss Parker and tells her that she wants to check out this store behind them, so they do.

They're interrupted by a shriek of, "Wait, your card's been cancelled! You're going to kill me?" and turn to see Lucy hurtling in their direction on her new high heels (which she'll notice have given her blisters later).

Lyle makes a face, and crosses his arms. He has another card, for goodness sakes!

"I don't trust you!" Lucy yells back to him, and retreats to the bookstore to hide, though he clearly saw her go in.

"And that's supposed to be new," comes Lyle's response, more to himself than to Lucy. He doesn't move to go after her, he knows how she can get (she's his mother, he would have to be plain daft not to know, though he doesn't tell her this; she'd think he was madder than mad, which she already thinks he is).

That's when Debbie understands that Miss Parker isn't his sister (an error in her calculations); she's his grandmother (his son isn't his son, but Miss Parker's son with goodness knows who, which is probably where Lyle's mental instability comes from).

When Lucy finally takes her leave of the bookstore, Debbie's already bought and paid for her Prom dress (it's blue), and Lyle is standing outside the bookstore waiting (Lucy could get in trouble with the law if he isn't around to watch her, and he'd have to pay to have her bailed out, he's her boss, after all; only then, he'd probably have to fire her afterward).

He's smiling, so she swings her plastic bag of books at him, and he steps out of the way quickly to avoid being clobbered by a bunch of _romance_ novels, and offers to buy her a coffee. Debbie almost points out that had Lucy not had that coffee earlier, she'd probably have been a lot more docile, but Miss Parker is pretending her "brother" doesn't exist, and Debbie hurries after her duly.

Lucy narrows her eyes, and decides that she could go for another coffee.

The next day, Debbie wags school to go back and get a dress that's blue _and purple_. It makes her smile; she's not really into the boy she's taking to the Prom, but it's a thing she has to do. She wonders about Miss Parker's son's father, and dawdles about a bit, stopping for an ice-cream on her way out of the mall.

It's just another day in the seaside town called Blue Cove, after all.

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_My humour is scary! Thanks for reading._


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